It’s almost the end of a short week and I’ve got a story for you. So I co-chair this committee for an organization I love. It’s a demanding committee with many members and lots of opinions about how things should work. I’d been working on a new event and right at the finish line of planning; we hit a heck of a snag with the venue that jeopardized the entire event.
Like the kind of irritating snag that causes a run in your pantyhose right when you’re about to walk into an important meeting and speak in front of the room. So annoying!
Well, I was talking with my co-chair about this problem I was having and how frustrated I felt. I was pacing the floor (confession: I am a worry wart). “You don’t understand. I am out of solutions. I don’t know what else to do. We are going to have to cancel the event” I lamented.
I mean I was pacing the floor y’all; just sick with anxiety over what I was going to need to do. You see all those “I”‘s? Not a “WE” in sight. This must have gone on for at least 15 minutes and finally she yanked my hand and said “Kishshana. Stop. You can’t ask AND answer your own question”. (Tweet this!)
(As an aside I feel like this is a recurring theme in my life right now. Friends snatching me up and telling me to get it together about this thing or that thing. How dare they care about me!)
OK Y’all so MY problem is asking for help. Do you suffer from this plight too? Don’t lie to me…it’s just you and me right now.
If you’re anything like me — in our families and at work — people always look you to get things done. You’re crazy busy and have a ton on your plate but you’re always asked to do “just one more thing” OR you willingly take on more. YOU are someone folk can count on. So you don’t ask for help because well…people need you! (Hint: You need people too and I am your people)
Let’s face it; work can be stressful and overwhelming—even in jobs we love. If you add in the personal stuff with work challenges; problems can feel much bigger than they really are. And if you always try do everything yourself (after all people are counting on you) you will eventually flail and then fail.
You might think asking for help is a sign of weakness and that being self-reliant is the key to success. But really… the opposite is true. Once you realize you can’t do something and need help you are demonstrating both humility and strength (and an added bonus is you don’t look like a complete obnoxious “know it all” jerk).
In fact, relying on others can help you reach your goals and if you are really strategic about who you ask for help and when, you might eeeeeeeven achieve them faster.
So the next time you’re working on something big, don’t try to do it all yourself. Instead reach out to your support network. Successful people know who they can rely on when it seems like the flames are engulfing them or they are drowning in overwhelm.
I might not have everything figured out but I am MUCH better at asking for help than I used to be. And I’m REALLY good at helping folks like you who need a little push too!
If this is you and it’s holding you back from all your awesomeness; SIGN UP for a deep dive session with me. It’s a small investment with BIG payoff and like I always say — summer is the perfect time for a personal tune-up. Because let’s face it folks — You can’t ask AND answer your own question. Sometimes you’ve got to phone a friend.